I’m at the point where I feel like one simple rant is basically bombarding people with their problems and every time I want to vent something out, I have to hold back for fear that I’m bothering others. And those who I can share my problems with are:
1. the person/people I’m having problems about
2. never there when I need them
3. not helpful at all
or a combination of all three. (mostly 1 and 2 though)
And as much as I want to break down and let it all out, I can’t. I physically can’t cry about it. I’m so used to just “sucking it up,” biting my tongue and holding in that sickening feeling you get when you’re mentally distressed. I’m used to it all.
And as much as I want to rant, I can’t because I’m so used to helping others with their problems that I can’t burden them with mine. I can’t even formulate what I want to say so what’s the point if they don’t even understand what I mean?
I’m even so vague here. I don’t know how to put my thoughts and feelings together, let alone put them into words.
I don’t know what I’m saying. Why is it so hard to express feelings?